Tuesday, July 31, 2007

it actually has a name

I always feel depressed just after having sex.(masturbation is the only kind of sex i've ever had)
This was mild at the beginning,but lately from about 2 months i feel like crying just after orgasm.
The moment is hard to describe.I hit rock-bottom and feel severely depressed and sometimes even cry after ejaculation.

This really started to worry me.
Did some googling and found out that there is actually a condition like that.
It's called post-coital depression and i'm pretty sure i suffer from it.

not quitting.

I actually wrote this to my (ex) best-friend

now that the H1B saga is over(??), i want to bring few points to your notice.
If you are already aware then it's a refresh.

1.i'm thoroughly dissatisfied with the enthusiasm you showed in finding me a H1 sponsor.Initially you were very indifferent and showed little or no interest till the last moment.
You just kept on giving some excuses.
I will never know if it was deliberate or not.If it was deliberate then, i can't possibly think of a reason.
if it was not deliberate and you were really not able to find any H1 guy, then i expected you to have told me.I at the least expected that much openness.

2.Then you got us sam uncle.
I don't want to begin talking about him.it will definitely be a novel,not a mail.
all i have to say about him is, i wouldn't have recommended him to my friends.
This i'm not telling because of the money matter, but because of the agony I went through for 5-6 months.i just don't care about that money anymore.

summing up:
1.the whole experience has shaken many of my beliefs.
2.I don't think i will ever trust anyone like the way i used to before.
3.I lost trust in my best friend.
4.have become more cynical.

this is rubbish $%!#^%@$&.
not quitting

Monday, July 30, 2007

everyone's a stuntman here

just clicked the picture a moment late.
In the bus seen in the picture, a man climbed out of the window and made his way to the top, while the bus was moving at 60km/h to check up on some cargo.
While this is a very common sight, a thought just entered into my mind.
Imagine the same scene on an interstate in US or a highway in UK or any of the other "developed country".
Well you can't imagine.Because if it ever happens,it will be caught on camera by some other person(to make some quick buck) and make it to the local news if not CNN.
A public debate will ensue and the owner of the vehicle will be fined for neglecting human life and what not.

Isn't calue of human life same everywhere?
Is this what we have become?
A nation of reckless,impatient people.
We see such heroes everywhere in a typical day in the city:-that group of people hanging on dangerously in an overcrowded bus,that third person on a two-wheeler or that kid which is held in one arm by it's mother, agin on a two-wheeler on a rainy day.

Though i don't think the "stuntman" was not in any danger,unless he fell from the moving bus,i still believe things like this should be strongly discouraged.

As long as we don't value human life,have some degree of sensitivity to such issues, we will be animals in some sense.

not quitting

Sunday, July 29, 2007

View to kill

This is the view from my balcony.
In a metropolitan, getting a view like this (especially during rainy days) is like finding an oasis in desert.My own personal haven.
The building that is seen in the pic is a school in front of my crib.
sipping coffee during a rain here.my favorite place to be.

Gem of a phone

yes it's Pearl(Blackberry 8100 Pearl)
Now why would i want to write about pearl when everybody else are immersed in apple-mania.
That too its been quite a few months since pearl's out and there are strong rumours of pearl2 doing rounds on gizmodo and elsewhere.

well it's because I've GOT IT!!
i got the pearl recently and am totally blown away.
1.It took 2 years to develop.
2.It has a revolutionary trackball (although not the first one) which i just love and is central to the pearl experience.
3.looks rexy("anorexic+sexy" )
4.plays music too.
5.first attempt by RIM to develop a mainstream cellphone.

i just feel like god holding it in my arms.
i've found my soul mate(cell mate)
the yahoo and google messengers are just awesome to use.

It's going to take one "mother of a cell" to desert my cell mate.(mayb pearl2)
not quitting.

PS:For all those retarded people who just can't stop complaining about the suretype keypad,just by a brick and go to gym to be able to carry it around.

Current obsession

Creative zen stone:
wow it's cool.looks better than the shuffle.
it's going to be my next buy when my current 1st gen 512MB shuffle runs out of battery(apple doesn't replace battery remember? and frankly getting tired of applemania.)
Not going to be one of those i-freaks or should i say i-zombies?
and the stone-plus has been released too.
not quitting.

You know you are depressed when........

  • You write non-sense for others to read(i.e blog)
  • read what other losers have written(reading blogs of people who are self-obsessed)
  • you try to introspect why you are depressed.(what i'm doing right now)


on one of my aimless browsing sessions, I discovered this web-comic.
This comics is the creation of a mathematician and the graphics are done by his friend.
Although some of the episodes requires knowledge of science/maths(a.k.a you have to be a geek)
most of them are readable by lesser mortals.
Nice read though when feeling down.
not quitting.

ok i got my facts wron.this guy is a physics grad.
sorry if you are reading

Saturday, July 28, 2007

and it begins....

not quite actually.
i have been posting for about 3 years now albeit infrequently.
now i have decided to take the plunge and post on a regular basis.(not the first time i'm plunging.!!)

to get to know more of my insanity in my formative days,point to my old blog
and enjoy.
what's this for:
1.To record my own thoughts.
2.To record my own thoughts anonymously.
I don't want to make this a place where my friends/family read and discuss this.I like to keep my thoughts private and away from people who know me as they may be offended and/or scared.
Moreover these are my deepest feelings.why then post on internet.why not a diary?well i want strangers to see it.maybe discuss.Also easy to document on web with lot of features available and can be accessed from anywhere.
3.To document my life.
4.To get good at expressing myself.
5.To track my growth as a person/thinker.
6.Finally to satisfy the basic human need which always craves for attention and acclamation from others.
"I walk the lonely roads,the only one that I've ever known."