Friday, July 10, 2009

and it keeps happening...

I see her and it's that old feeling all over again.This time though I don't let myself go blind in love.I let the thought indulge me for some more time being careful not to indulge it.It's not the first time and I'm not a fool any more.Just can't afford to feel things.

I turn off the light and go to sleep hoping there will be less of heartache the next day.
We all dream of things,stuff in life.What do you do when reality hits you?What can you do?How do you deal with disappointment?

I'm wiser nowadays(at least I think so.).I'm not getting bothered by stuff that used to keep me off sleep before.

But I don't know what scares me more:my happiness or fear of realizing sometime in future that I wasn't really happy in the first place to begin with.

Fuck that.I'm fine now.


Paul Maurice Martin said...

Speaking personally, I was much more prone to ups and downs over romantic situations when I was younger. By the time I got into my thirties, I think it finally sunk in that there wasn't a "right one" - that a break up or missed opportunity didn't mean the end of love in my life.


hi paul,
I agree with you when you say that there isn't a right one.

It's not the fear of not getting someone to love that disappoints me.It's the feeling of losing that makes me angry.

I hate losing in anything and losing something in that aspect of life that I value most is what drives the pain home.

Not able to get someone you love (ok, crush) is the worst form of defeat I have experienced

"I walk the lonely roads,the only one that I've ever known."