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Art in motion

Art is an unsolved aspect of human psyche.
It reveals itself in bits which only adds to it's mystery.
Nobody knows why it is.Artists are a peculiar group who seldom care about anything else more than their trade.
I envy them for that.They behave as if they have found all the answers and got nothing to ask from anyone when they are involved in their art.
I passionately envy those whose art arises out of misery and pain around them.
It helps them forget the world around while creating something beautiful.
Power to create something is the single most hateful thing I have against them.
Only god and nature apart from artists share this unique ability.
God himself must be one sick artist.Art arises out of a damaged brain or out of pain.Sane people are rarely gifted.I'm not using sanity in it's usual meaning but in a much wonderful and subtle way.In fact so wonderful that there must be something really wrong with it!
You see perfection is in fact a flaw.
Damaged goods is not an adjective that can be easily acquired.
Also I do believe that anything can be achieved if you really want it.
Still artists are a class apart and I think that god differentiates between men of art and rest of us by being favorable to the former.
I don't know how and I don't know why.


Below is an original and first attempt at poetry by yours truly:

Have promises to keep.
Only,then can I sleep.

Made are vows to myself
Never to see thy's weaker self.

Get long way to go.
Before I can slow.

Till then I find solace in pain
fighting for a chance to gain.

I keep going my way.
With nothing to say,
got no time to pray.

I struggle and wither,
to see myself in mirror,
as I used to before.


Parting words: If you can understand one person completely, you have known god then.

Let's agree on something.

Ever since I started to think about what this life is all about,it has been a very confused existence.

I wish I had blindly followed some mad man/men or their religion which wants me to just unconditionally believe in (it's) higher authority.I would have even settled for having the confidence with which this chick begs people that for god's sake don't be taken for a ride.

I have read and continue to read many books on spirituality,evolution,science etc in my quest.I'm proud to say that I have found an answer.And the answer is there is gonna be none anytime sooner or for that matter later.I'm relieved to arrive to this.I hope others realize this too.

I've read men of science passionately defending their beliefs(I specifically call them beliefs and not as theories.) with "facts" and find them wanting.You see, these facts are based on some assumptions which are generally "assumed" as "true".Somebody please try convincing Neo (guys I'm talking about Matrix) that the air he is breathing is just a sensory input to his brain.Huh.He just chose to believe or rather his curiosity led him to take the road less traveled and he was able to discover the "truth".Was it the truth or did he enter the actual matrix from the real world!! Every day something new is being discovered,some so-called radical,obnoxious idea is becoming less unbearable.Science is evolving.Our understanding of how universe functions is changing.Even to this day we know very little of human body.What should make us think that we will know it all.It's just a matter of time, kid.Well it's not.

More over, I'm reluctant to believe that life on this planet was an accident.That water occupies most of the earth's surface which made life possible is just an accident.Just see how a child grows up to be if you tell him that his conception was an accident in the back seat of a car.Somebody explain me the logic of sexual reproduction and how that it is a logical step in the evolution.Wasn't asexual multiplication good enough? The evolution story is just an attempt of the logical man to explain life as we see it.

Religion/God/Supernatural is another poor and earlier attempt by man to explain life as we see it.God is a wonderful and comforting concept which puts to rest many disturbing questions we have about ourselves.This holds good only if you believe blindly in supernatural as men of logic believe in science.I can't bring myself to completely embrace god because he represents the unknown,the big void I see when I look up into the sky.I have got many questions for him but he is nowhere to be found.I find some comfort in spirituality because it wants me to be a seeker and don't like religion since it asks me to be a believer.

When there is no challenging of existing beliefs, there is no seeking.Without that there is no scope to extend the reaches of our understanding.

I have read some science fellas trying to narrate the supernatural in the language of science(Heisenberg uncertainty principle,quantum physics,god particle etc).I'm happy that they have an open mind.I love spirituality since it begs of me to keep an open mind and keeps me happy.

In this context, death is very interesting phase of life, since it is promising to answer many questions.

Till then, I'm a man who proudly claims that the only thing which he's certain about is that he's not.
Agree that we're ignorant.It's a wonderful feeling.I promise.

I know.Still I don't

I'm fortunate enough to have been acquainted with this person who has been my guide,inspiration, my guru even though he doesn't know that.He is very successful or at least wildly successful in my view.
One conversation went like this:

Him:You know,nothing matters.This whole life is a bullshit.
Me(not aloud): Yeah.I know.Only I want to tell the same, but while standing from where you're standing.

Now, let me explain this.
This person is not someone who is resigned and dejected from life.On the contrary he's full of life,enjoying every moment, wildly successful as per my standards and yet humble.

Still, he says that life is bullshit.He meant that whatever you achieve(or not achieve) or accomplish in your life, in the end, in the bigger picture of things, nothing matters.Everybody dies.It doesn't matter you were sad or happy or miserable;everybody dies."Now" is the only thing which is real and just enjoy it.Experience it.Just be mindful."Now" is the only truth.

I totally agree with him and wish that I feet the same way wholly.I subscribe to his idea.But when I accomplish what I feel that I should,I must, only then can I tell it in the same way as he meant it.

Till then, I have my own version which says:
Life is bullshit.

With self awareness you clearly see who you are and who you want to be.The distance between the two becomes measurable and there lies the pain.I envy the ignorant.

--despo